Searching, Seeking, Reaching, Always
by TRDancer
Summary: AH. Entry for the Plot Bunny Contest. Four people have lost it all.


**ENTRY FOR THE PLOT BUNNY CONTEST  
Story Name: **Searching, Seeking, Reaching, Always**  
Penname: **TRDancer**  
Rating: **T**  
Word Count (not including header/author's note): **2615**  
To see other entries in the Plot Bunny Contest, please visit the following C2:  
****http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Plot_Bunny_Contest/82048/

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**My plot bunny: **People all over the world, somehow interconnected by destiny. They have a common object, or they had touched the same thing-as a dollar bill.

Thank you to souplover9 for the super quick beta. :)

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This is the problem with getting attached to someone. When they leave you, you just feel lost.  
_Zombieland

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_Jacob_

I was alone.

It wasn't anything new, really, but today it was the worst. Usually, I could surround myself with people and pretend they knew me and I knew them, and my day would go on just fine. But today there were no classes and everyone had gone home or off somewhere to party, leaving only me on campus.

I got up off the front steps of the main building and started to gather my papers, shoving them haphazardly into my binder. I zipped up the binder and walked slowly down the steps, staring out at the parking lot. As I stared, a plastic bag blew across the empty lot and the few leaves left in the trees made a loud rustling noise that seemed to crash in my ears. A lone leaf swirled down and landed on my arm, making me jump. It floated the rest of the way to the ground as I shook my head and continued to walk toward the parking lot, which I had to walk through to get to the dorms.

I pressed the walk signal button on the stoplights at the busy intersection and waited for the traffic to slow down. It seemed like I stood for hours before there was finally a break in the speeding vehicles, and, when it came, I ran as fast as I could across the road. It wasn't one of those days where I felt like standing in the middle of the road and waiting for a car to hit me.

As I passed the parking lot, I heard loud laughter and the sound of car doors slamming and glanced over to see if I recognized the owners of the voices.

As soon as I caught a glimpse of blonde curls flipping over a shoulder, I knew. The head of black hair drifting beside her only confirmed it.

It was _her_.

The reason I'd lived for most of my life.

And now that she was there, with him, and I was here, with no one, I had no reason left.

An icy breeze cut through my skin to my bones, exposing me to the world.

_Jessica_

The clean white sheets of my bed felt like ice on my bare legs as I slid beneath the comforter. It seemed these days that I was never really warm. This was just another futile attempt to warm myself up, but even the bed, piled high with blankets as it was, couldn't purge the cold from my body.

Maybe it was because he wasn't there.

Maybe it was because he never would be there again.

Maybe it was because every time I closed my eyes, I pictured him amongst horror, dust flying in his eyes as he fired toward the enemy, eventually ending up face down in the dirt, blood pouring from his wounds.

Of course, this was dramatization on the part of my imagination. I didn't know what it was like to be in the middle of war.

One thing I did know: the bed was too big for just me.

Another thing I knew: I missed him.

The phone rang across the room. I stared at the smooth black plastic of it from my cocoon, contemplating letting it ring unbidden, but past experiences led me to sigh and get up to answer it.

"Hello."

"Jess?" the high pitched voice of my sister came through the line crystal clear.

"Lauren," I answered dully.

"You didn't respond to my email. Are you coming out with us tonight?"

"Maybe another time."

"That's what you said last time." I could tell that she wasn't trying to be snappish about it, but her tone had a definite hardness on the edge of it.

"I just... don't feel up to it," I attempted to explain.

I heard her sigh loudly on the other end. "Should I even invite you next time?" she asked, definitely snapping this time.

"Maybe not," I said truthfully.

"Fine, I won't," she said, following it up with the click of the line going dead.

But I knew she would.

_Jasper_

Life was as dandy as it gets for any college frat boy: I was still buzzed rather than hung over, I was in bed with the hottest chick I'd been able to locate at the party last night, and I didn't have any classes to go to.

The girl shifted beneath my arm, rolling over to nestle her nose into my side. I glanced down at her, expecting to see coffee coloured skin, but my eyes met creamy white instead. I frowned at myself and looked at the alarm clock instead. It was nearing ten in the morning.

I went back to staring at the Dartmouth banner I had plastered to my ceiling. I wondered what the weather was like in California. I thought that it had to be better than it was in New Hampshire. I pictured my girl lying next to the pool, soaking up the sun. I pictured her naked in bed. I added a strange guy to that picture.

The idea made me angry.

I looked at the girl lying in my bed with me. I wondered how much it would hurt my girl to know that I was cheating on her. I wondered why I was cheating on her.

Then again, had she really expected a relationship that spanned an entire country to work out? She probably had. I hadn't. I wondered why I hadn't just broken up with her when she left for Stanford.

I wondered why the phone was ringing so God damn loudly.

My hand answered the phone of its own devices. "Hello?" I murmured on autopilot.

"Hey, Jazz," the voice I knew so well prompted me.

"Hey," I replied.

"What are you doing?" she asked. I realized that this was one of the frequent calls I got for no apparent reason.

"Um..." I tried to come up with something that didn't comprise of me telling the whole truth.

"Jasper?" a raspy voice contributed to the conversation. "Who's on the phone?"

"Jasper, who is that?"

My brain could not handle being faced with two questions at once.

"Are you cheating on me?" my girl asked, practically yelling.

The girl in bed next to me frowned. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

At least these two questions had the same answer.

"Yes."

_Jane_

I had once thought I actually meant something to someone.

It turned out that I was wrong.

Just when you break down the walls, you have to build them up again.

It hardly seemed fair.

He stood in front of the alternative section, flipping through the CDs. It hurt to even see him, to watch his dark hair fall into his face, to watch him bite his lip as he studied the back of a CD, to notice how he crossed his right leg behind his left while standing still just like he always had.

I imagined that he was going to buy something and then I would have to talk to him. Sure enough, five minutes later we were separated only by a wooden counter and the words I'd never said to him.

"Hey, Jane," he said. "Good to see you're doing well."

I stared at the computer screen as I scanned his purchases. The total came to twenty-two sixty-four. I told him this, then chanced a glance in time to see him frown as he pushed two twenties toward me.

"Keep the change."

I shook my head and tried to give him the stack of bills and coins I'd already taken out of the till. He shook his head in turn and turned to walk away.

"Take it!" I insisted, too loudly. Other customers turned to look curiously at us.

"Jane..." he started, but something in my eyes must have stopped him.

I gestured for him to take the money again. He took a step back and took it, folding the bills and shoving them into the tips cup next to the till.

Before I could protest, he was gone.

I sighed and sat back down on my stool.

I was always his charity case.

And that's all I would ever be.

_Jacob_

"Come on, Jake," Bella whined. "Please come dance with me."

"No," I said, taking a sip of my drink.

She looked at me sadly. "I can't stand seeing you like this. I want to punch that bitch's face in."

"Don't."

Bella sighed. "I miss you, Jake." She stayed and looked at me for a moment longer before disappearing onto the dance floor.

I stared at the wooden surface of the bar. I missed me, too.

But I mostly missed her. I didn't know who me was without her. Maybe there was no me at all.

"Another drink?" the bartender asked.

I nodded. He took my glass and filled it back up, pushing it across the counter to me. "Cheer up," he encouraged, speaking loudly to be heard over the music. He had some sort of annoying accent. "Go dance with your friend."

I just looked at him. "Tell me—how can I cheer up when it feels like I literally don't have a heart anymore? Like it was just ripped out and thrown to the wolves?"

The bartender frowned. "Sorry, mate. I can't hear you." He gestured to the ceiling, like the music came from the very air itself.

I shook my head and got up, slapping down random cash from my wallet on the wood and walking away.

Of course he couldn't hear me. I was Jacob Black, invisible boy.

I just needed to get away.

_Jessica_

Dinner with the family. Tedious. Boring. Pointless.

"What do you do, again, Jess?" my grandmother asked.

I made a big show of chewing on my bite of steak, wondering how exactly I was supposed to answer that. _Oh yes, Grams, since my fiancé died, I've been lying in my bed, basically comatose, only leaving to do mundane things like go to the fucking washroom, and even that makes me cry because he painted the picture of a seashell that's on the wall._

I swallowed. "I work at the pharmacy, Grams. You know that."

"Oh, yes, yes. And how is that smashing beau of yours? What was his name?"

My mother jumped in. "How are your flowers doing, Mom? I love your garden at this time of year."

I was frozen in place, my napkin halfway to my mouth. Leave it to my grandmother to make a complete mess of me at the dinner table. Lauren shot me a look, but I wasn't sure what the look was supposed to tell me.

"Excuse me," I murmured, pushing back my chair. My dad smiled encouragingly at me.

I didn't bother to smile back.

I escaped to the entirely too fancy washroom. It had a couch, which I found totally ridiculous, so I sat on it and put my face in my hands.

Ironic, just like my entire life.

There was nothing I wouldn't rather do than go back to the table. And, I realized, I didn't bring anything with me, so there was nothing I needed to go back for.

I left the washroom and snuck past our table to the door. Once out in the crisp night air, I felt a little better. The music from the bar across the street had a pounding bass line, which immediately gave me a headache.

_ No rest for the wicked,_ I thought to myself.

_Jasper_

I'm a fucking idiot. There's no doubt about that.

I'd been told that many times in my life, but I'd never really believed it.

Until now.

I thought about my life. I'd been an asshole in high school, I suddenly realized. I was still an asshole.

A fuck up. A terrible influence on absolutely everyone. A failure.

There was probably no way to fix that now, was there? Fucked for life. That's me.

"Can I bum one of those off you?" a voice asked. I turned to see a tall guy with dark skin and long black hair gesturing to the cigarette in my hand. I just looked at him for a minute, then shrugged and held out the package to him. He took one. I shoved the package back in my pocket and took out my lighter, handing it to him. He lit the cigarette and took a drag.

I watched him as he flipped the lighter around and around in his hand. I wondered if he was planning on stealing it. Why would he want to steal my lighter? It's not like it was expensive.

"Can I have my lighter back?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at him.

"Oh. Yeah." He flipped it to me, and I caught it, shoving it back into my pocket.

I considered asking him what his name was, but didn't bother. Instead, I leaned against the brick wall and sighed.

"Have you ever been in love?" I asked instead.

"Yes," he answered immediately.

"What does it feel like?"

He looked confused. I could tell he was thinking really hard about that one. "I don't know," he finally said. "I can't describe it."

But something in his face told me I'd been right.

I had been in love with my girl.

And I had fucked that up.

_Jane_

I locked the store door behind me and turned to walk back to my dorm, music blaring into my ears from my headphones.

I pictured him in my head. It was something of an addiction of mine, imagining him and me together. And not just like that, either.

Watching movies. Going to dinner. Getting married. Having kids.

I wanted it all, and I wasn't getting any of it.

It was ridiculously unfair.

But such is life, right?

Right.

I adjusted my headphones and broke into a run. I hated walking in the dark.

I was a bit distracted by a) my music, b) my thoughts of him, and c) the sidewalk, so it was really no surprise when I slammed into something.

Except it was, because God damn it, there was usually nothing on this corner.

"Are you okay?" the thing I'd bumped into asked. I looked up to see that it was a girl.

"I'm fine," I said, starting to walk away.

"Can I walk with you?" the girl asked.

I stared at her. I didn't think I'd ever been asked a weirder question. "Um, okay?"

She fell into step next to me. "You see those guys on the corner?" She pointed to the corner in front of us.

I nodded, wondering where she was going with this.

"I think they're watching me," she said.

"Oh, really," I said, not really interested.

She nodded. "Yep."

We passed by the guys she had pointed out.

"Hey, ladies," the shorter one said.

"Hi," the other girl said. I ignored them.

She stopped and grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop, too.

"I'm Jessica," she said, holding out her hand.

The taller one shook it. "Jacob," he said.

The short one dropped his cigarette on the ground and squashed it with his heel. "Jasper," he grunted.

They all looked at me. "I'm gone," I said, pulling my arm out of Jessica's grip.

I managed to get five steps across the road when Jasper appeared in front of me. "Are you scared of something?" he asked. It might have been creepy from anyone else, but he seemed to genuinely want to know.

I was scared of something. I was scared of having my heart broken.

"Yes," I said, trying to get around him. He grabbed my shoulders.

"It's okay. We're all scared."

For some fucked up reason, I believed him.


End file.
